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Razzle 02
“Razzle, you think you have Pete and myself all frazzled for the way you went and razzle dazzled us over the real Hall of Famers autographs server’s food order doodling pad, but you listen to me! Well, we’re crying and we will go fag with you one time and one time only for the real autograph pad, so? And when we say go fag with you, we mean, um, snuggle up with you on the couch.”
“Hmm, that’s interesting, Andrew, but a little extreme since it would literally kill both of you to squish me in the middle. I know that you and Peter couldn’t, huh, wait, is there a trade in there where I might end up with a hickey on each of my bare butt cheeks, like dead center, with the perfect arm gripping of me and at the same time, hmm?”
“[Gulp].”
“LOL, I’m just kidding, Andrew [pats chest], unless???”
“[Gulp].”
“My skin is smooth and to die for, Andrew????”
“[Gulp].”
“Tee he, it’s alright, Andrew, I’m just having a little fun with you, tee he, unless????”
“[Gulp].”
Guys, right? So easy!
“Alright, back to razzle dazzle plan B, guys, oh, wait, Peter, unless you???”
“[Gulp] bah, bah, bah…”
Oh, that was promising, right? At least Peter babbled sounds out of his mouth as opposed to Andrew’s silent gulping out of fear.
“Anyways, you guys are my friends, so the pad of autographs will end up in your hands and also in your favor, I mean, since Bobby got what he wanted from me and blocked me, I mean, I was going to split things three ways, but that’s out now, so, here’s my plan B…”
“I’ll do it!”
[The trio of friends freeze in place from shock for that sudden outburst]
“Oh, excuse me, Peter?”
“I’ll plant my lips on your butt cheeks and hickey suck until I pass out, Razzle!”
“Ahem, guys, as I was just jokingly saying…”
“Razzle, for that pad of Hall of Famer autographs, I’ll suck two perfectly round mouth sized purple circles on your butt cheeks and if your naked body makes me hard, then I’ll slip a condom on and finish the job! Also, I secretly cry over your little body, so I will slip a condom on first! I’ll do it!”
Okay then, right, folks? What a way to bring the motion of time and a conversation to a standstill, right? Or for short, that little meeting awkwardly broke up and left Andrew, Peter and myself stunned. Or for even shorter, fast forward at the Sports Hero festival about an hour when the shock wore off. Not that I erased my memory banks, tee he. I mean, tee he, a bare butt cheek hickey suck until he passed out? That’s something worth remembering! For future reference only, of course.
“Oh, Willy, um, hi Willy, um, so, have you seen Andrew or Peter? I lost sight of them a little while back and I’m getting worried, so, have you seen hide or hair of them, Willy?”
“Oh, yeah, yeah, Razzle, I saw them chit chatting over by a clump of trees, so I started to wander over their way and as I approached them, well, it sounded like they were going to leave the festival and go see a movie because they were babbling about the color purple, but then as I got closer to them, I mean, that’s when I understood them better and realized that they were talking about stringing themselves up with a purple ski rope if they had any regrets about sucking on something hot and soft, so, well, I turned around and walked back into the crowd of the festival, so?”
“Whew, well, it’s a good thing the Ski Rope Shop on the Strip closed down because Middleton doesn’t have a lake then, right, tee he, Willy, so, how are you, Willy?”
“Oh, I’m good, Razzle and by the way, I’m willing too, so?”
“Oh, and you’re willing for what then, Willy?”
“To be your unidentified guy in your sex tape, of course, Razzle!”
“I mean, Willy, I know it’s almost mandatory for a Trap to leak a sex tape, but I think most Traps at least wait until they have had sex, like real sex, Willy, so, um, how do you see that then, hmm?”
“Oh, I see the scenes having lots of glistening if it’s smash face down sex, like with a lot of baby oil or something and I’ll trim it up a bit if it’s up against the Breakfast Bar and if it’s more doggie style, well, I’ll go to the Tanning Salon and even out my color in the middle, Razzle, so?”
“[Gulp] well, that’s a lot of pre thought out details, Willy, so?”
“And I wouldn’t be mad if it all takes up to three retakes, Razzle, so, so what?”
“[Gulp] and all of that is better than just seducing me, Willy?”
“Are you mad that I’m taking the long way around, Razzle, Mrs. Razzle Dazzle?”
“Oh, I might be mad that all three of your leaked sex videos concepts are already out there on Chang, Mr. No Imagination! And my hair isn’t long enough the replicate the Breakfast Bar situation properly! eğirdir escort But it is the best video, but I’m too short for you to get that upward angle, so?”
“Oh, is that a challenge then, Razzle?”
Oh, I know when to walk away! Which is exactly the same as another person stopping by to say hello.
“Well, well, well, so, Razzle, the word is that you’re still hanging onto and hiding the pad of Hall of Famer autographs, which means that Andy and Pete are out, just the same as Bob is out, so, where’s the current bidding at, huh? And hey, Willy, what’s up?”
“Tee he, oh, you know, Chad, I’m just trying to schmooze the autographs pad out of Razzle and nothing else, tee he.”
Guys, right? They all want to be the unidentified guy in a sex video and keep it that way.
“Oh, there’s a bidding battle now, is there, Chad? Oh, well then, the bid to beat is Willy’s bid
, which shall remain as a silent bid until it is leaked out, so?”
“Aha, aha, aha, (hush), I mean, cool, my bid of breakfast in the afternoon has the lead!”
“Alright, I get that, Razzle, I mean, Willy here has been known to stick with what he wants until he gets it, tee he, hoping that my old friend Willy doesn’t forget the little people in his life, tee he, right, Willy? Anyways, Razzle, I’ve never looked or peeked myself, but your double object impression butt pockets are trending on Chang. I mean, this is you leaning over the sports cards tent counter, right?”
[Shows Chang trending photo from phone]
Oh, I’m pretty sure that’s called a “creep shot”, folks! And a dead center good one! Also, huh, I liked the way my hair flares split in the back as shown in that rearview creep shot! And the shade of red arrows that someone pointed at “object 1” and then at “object 2” was a cool shade of red. Well, for a creepy creep shot.
“Um, guys, does my hair flare split like this all the time from the rearview? I would have paid extra for what I see in this trending creep shot, so?”
“Yeah, that’s what side fags are looking at, Razzle! Anyways, I’ll leave you two to continue your chit chat, um, well, anyways, I always try to out trend myself, so, how about an improved creep shot then, Razzle, huh?”
Ah, a quick review of “creep shot” on definitions Chang and yep, there it is. Crook prop one leg up on a fence rail or other object, lean forward, stretch your Denim to its limits and hold. I mean, I went ahead and wiki updated the definition page with having two similarly sized objects in each of the back pockets, but someone would have done that sooner or later anyways, so.
And the sports shoe vendor tent had a stack of shoe boxes and a counter that I could prop one leg up on while leaning forward, so that worked.
“(Oh, that was a perfect surprise sex pose for our fourth sex tape release, Razzle!)”
“(Hush, Willy, but meet me around the rear of the sports vendor tents in an hour or so, but only so I can prove to you that our height difference is going to rule out most positions that, well, just meet me later for a sex video pre-production meeting.)”
Oh, I’d be home asleep within an hour, so, nope, we didn’t need any such meeting.
Or maybe in an hour and a half I would be gone home. I mean, I had a meeting to attend first, right?
“Oh, trust me, Willy, if I were spun around and pinned up against this big tree the other way, I mean, what’s poking me above my belly button would be half way up the small of my back, which is a lot higher than where you want it to end up, so, this is my proof that I’m too short for you, so? But feel free to lean way down here and taste my lips!”
[Lean, dip, mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, dip, push up, dip, lip lock, mwah, rub, ummah]
“Razzle, I’m going to argue that the height difference is manageable, so, with just a little dipsy doo razzle dazzle, I mean, I think it’s doable, I mean, I do have a tendency to point fairly north.”
“Oh, you mean like “Boink!” then, Willy?”
“Oh, well Razzle, since we’re going to make a sex video, I mean, film at 11 then.”
Well, the odds were good that a dix pic would end up in my spam folder before too long anyways, so I figured that I wouldn’t have to wait until 11 to see the northern pointing “boing” and all.
[Lean, dip, mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, grope, dip, lip lock, mwah, rub, grope, ummah]
“Alright, Willy, that’s enough of the display of your evidence. I mean, this is a family friendly festival and all, so, smack my lips one more time and release me.”
Oh, never tell a guy to release! I mean, that’s the only time that they listen!
[Fumbles and fiddles around with armored clothing]
“OMG, how many layers of pants do you elazığ escort have on, Razzle? It will be daylight by the time I work my way through all this, what, one, two, three, OMG, four things and I’m not even counting your undies!”
Oh, I said that in the last chapter when I described my outfit to my ex-boyfriend, Bobby. Undies, thin maroon tights, black fishnets, tall purple striped socks, all under my modest Denim shorts, four plus one, just how Willy counted it. I mean, it was a family friendly festival, so, I covered up.
And I still had the pad of Hall of Famer autographs in my left back pocket.
“Well, Razzle, I need the other way then and I need it now!”
“Oh, because you’re a guy and if a guy loses a boner with time as opposed to from sex, then that guy shall die on the spot then, Willy, is that it?”
[Hump, grind, hump, push into tree, grind, hump]
“Well, I didn’t write the rules, Razzle, so?”
Well, I wiki updated the man page on Chang too, you know, right there on the spot!
“Willy, I’m not saying “yes” or “no” right now, but this is not the place or the time. However, we can have a script reading if you come across a script that has a character getting caught getting all caught up in the moment where the unidentified male gets a surprise blow job during a party or something, so?”
“Aha, aha, aha…”
“Excuse me, coming through, excuse me, coming through, excuse me!”
[Bits of peacock feathers flay and fling all about in the air]
“How dare you Razzle, [gently slaps face] tempt your new boyfriend with a sex video script idea while I’m so busy trying to secure three petite Lil Iceland Icicles Ladies for the seasonal series of festivals! How dare you [gently slaps face again], Razzle!”
“[Cough, spits out bits of feather, cough] Peacock Penny, oh, actually, you saved the day from me having sex up against this tree, so.”
[Willy takes off for having breathing issues enough without inhaling bits of floating feathers]
“Oh, that guy will be back around, Razzle, trust me, side fags need their boy butt and yours is as good as they come, especially since your double object impression creep photos are trending on Chang now for the second time, so [gently slaps face], where is the infamous Hall of Famer autographs pad right now then, hmm? Mrs. Bentley wants to auction them off tomorrow as a closing stunt for the Sports Hero Festival and Mrs. Bentley said that a third of the proceeds could go into my big, I mean, our big bag of money, so?”
“[Cough, spits out bits of feather, cough] Peacock Penny, it’s still in my left back pocket and it’s staying there until I find a suitable replacement object to make a similar impression to match my cell phone because that’s my new rearview look and that’s that! Well, that’s that until I end up in third level of a cargo ship in shackles and with a ringed ball gag holding my mouth open, so?”
[Tap, tap, tap, tap, whoop, outgoing text sent]
By the way, folks, I mean, those mouth opening ball gags, I mean, who? Who finds those enjoyable?
[Weep, incoming text]
“Yah, the Lil Iceland Icicles can bring a Reindeer skin fold over condom wallet, yah.”
[Tap, tap, photo attached, whoop, text sent]
“Dimensions in trending photo.”
[Whoop]
“Welcome aboard, Lil Iceland Icicles promo petites!”
Well, I would have to see the condom wallet first, although, tee he, the leather condom wallet that Merri carries around looks to be about the right size and it’s a grey leather and over time the leather has developed four circular impressions in it and since impressions are my thing now, I mean, we’ll see.
Also, tee he, Merri lets me fondle her condom wallet occasionally. I mean, in exchange for no more video tournaments with her step brother, of course, tee he. Which is fine since Walter and I had only, um, experimented, so.
Oh, and tee he, the impressions that the condoms eventually leave in the soft leather look a lot like mouth sized impressions, like if they were purple, tee he, I could use them for butt hickey selfies!
“Oh, [Cough, spits out bits of feather, cough] Peacock Penny, I’ll auction off the autographs from inside of his back pocket, no problem! That will actually increase the bidding with all the fags that live in Middleton, so, bring it!”
“Now, now, Mrs. Bentley, the three petite promo Lil Iceland Iciciles are already on a plane and they are flying all night, so your precious Hall of Famer autographs can be auctioned off without selling off my newest Trap sponsor for endless boy butt gang banging in the fag flop houses.”
Well, that possibility is listed on the third page of the Trap handbook, so.
“But his butt would elbistan escort bring in a few huge bids, tee he, not as huge as you, Mrs. Bentley, but talk about another big bag of money!”
“(Giggles)”
Ha, ha! Well, I mean, we could investigate things, right? Not!
“Randy? Is this all you, Randy? It’s all true then, Randy?”
“Oh, Wilbur, I thought I might run into you here at the Sports Hero Festival since you live for sports, so, anyways, most people just call me Razzle these days, so?”
“Well, how did I miss all this then, Razzle? And how do you do all this, huh?”
“Oh, just like sports, practice makes perfect, Wilbur. And estrogen helps too, so?”
“Well, frazzle my dazzle, Razzle! This is, um, nice or whatever other appropriate thing I’m supposed to say, so, so, um, hi, Razzle. Oh, I like the way your hair flare splits in the back, so, that’s appropriate, right?”
“Oh, hi, Wilbur and any hair comment for the positive is appropriate, so, um, so, a thirsty Trap could use a sports drink from the sports drink vendor tent then, so?”
Huh, I mean, having dual impressions in my back pockets may be my new thing, but new my saying might be “that didn’t take much” or something like that, right? I think I said that twice in the last chapter, right? And trust me, that didn’t take much.
“I mean, what’s going on back here, Razzle [pat, pat], huh?”
“Oh, it’s my thing now to strut around with two similarly sized objects in my back pockets to create dual impressions that catch someone’s eyes and or their cell phone camera, so? Also, were you just curious about my booty impressions or was that a forward butt patting move on me, Wilbur, hmm?”
“Oh, can’t it be both, Razzle?”
Well, I suppose it could have been both, right?
“I mean, I was only asking [sip] because I’m still pretty new to a few things, so, Wilbur, we size up pretty good then, right?”
“Oh, I’m not even sure what that means, Razzle, but yeah we do [sip], so?”
“I mean, it might mean that we size up good for a leaked sex video or something, Wilbur, although that’s not something that I’m suggesting as much as pointing out how well we would match up, that’s all, so?”
“[Sip] well then, Razzle, I mean, leaked sex videos always hide the identity of the guy, right?”
“Oh, about 98% of the time, for sure, Wilbur. I mean, sometimes it’s an actual relationship, so about 2% of the time, the guy is made known, but in our case, I mean, in my case, my stud Bull would be unknown [sip], I mean, that’s fair and all, right, Wilbur?”
“[Sip] and where have you been hiding for the last two years since school then, Razzle, [sip], huh?”
“[Sip] in the shadows, silly!”
Well, that’s where I was, I guess.
“And by the way, Razzle, just what are these two objects that are making these impressions across your butt then anyways? This one in your right back pocket [squeeze, feel, squeeze] feels like a cell phone, but this one in the left back pocket [squeeze, feel, squeeze] seems more like one of those calendar booklets that the banks hand out towards the end of the year [squeeze, squeeze], so?”
“Oh, what’s on the left making an impression across my butt is my doodling autograph pad from a small group of Hall of Famers from yesterday afternoon at the Café on the Strip, so?”
“Wait, what, Razzle? What’s in my hand right now is the very infamous pad of autographs that literally everyone has been yapping about? I thought that was a myth just to help generate more interest in the Sports Hero Festival or something!”
“Oh, no, Wilbur, it’s no myth and yep, you are man handling 30 pages of Hall of Famer autographs right now!”
[Post on Chang]
“But to protect the innocent, I just posted that an unidentified boyfriend is man handling my butt for unknown reasons! And yep, my sex life is probably about the same level as yours, so?”
“OMG, OMG, Razzle, name it, name your price! Anything! Name it!”
“Oh, um, Wilbur, first, for two autographed doodling pad sheets at a later time, two smooches tonight, please and thank you.”
[Smooch, smooch, extra smack peck]
“Oh, for a few more autograph pad sheets, I mean, not here and now, of course, but a forward promise of maybe two hickeys!”
“Sold, Razzle! And they will both be as purple as the human body allows!”
“Oh, well, we’ll discuss the details of that later, tee he, but first, Wilbur…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Razzle, I’m sexing you up at the same time, right? Not that I’m asking how it works when a boy lives like a girl has sex, which I’m assuming is best while you’re face smashed down, tee he, but you’re on your back while I’m sucking big round purple hickeys on your neck, right, Razzle?”
“Tee he, details to follow, Wilbur, now run along and let me be for a while.”
And I still the full server’s pad of doodling Hall of Famer autographs in my back pocket. Oh, and I had a forward promise of two butt hickeys! Well, if those are possible anyways. I really don’t know.
End Razzle 02
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